2006-07-12

what happened @ 11:10 p.m.

Packing got off schedule. Way off schedule. I will refrain from explaining why, suffice to say that it did. We were sweating like horses on Friday. Saturday I was due at a colleague's place for grilled weenies and goodbyes at 5 PM. The movers were due to show at 11 AM. We ended up pushing their arrival time back to 2 PM. Picked up the truck early Saturday and commenced to panicking as we packed swiftly. I went to said friend's place as scheduled. Wasn't there 30 minutes when Man Unit called to inform me that the movers were quite certain that all our shit was not going to fit in the truck.

We left quite a bit behind, including the couch. Man Unit was not upset about that because he abhors said couch.

We continued packing after they left, trying to snatch up things that would fit in the cars that for some reason the movers had not packed. Ceased around 11 because our projected departure time was 6 AM and we desperately needed the sleep. Arose at 5 AM and scurried about like ferrets. Did not leave until 8:30 or so. All went well until Kentucky. Shifted Crackhead and Puppy up from the floor in between the seats to the passenger seat and cranked up the air in Indiana. Their hollering (especially Crackhead's patented Death Yowl) all but ceased. Freak was happy to sprawl on the floor, as the seat wasn't big enough for her.

Then Kentucky came. In all its mountainous splendor. Recognize this: a 16 foot long 10 ft 6 inch high truck packed to the fucking gills towing a cavalier sedan on a trailer behind it. Towing renders everything usually done to drive successfully null and void, not to mention being overloaded.

Oh god.

I lie to you not when I tell you that my palms sweated profusely all the way from KY until we pulled up in front of the house in Georgia. If you have never driven an interstate like I-75 all the way through KY and TN, you have no idea what this is like. Now, when I'm in my car, it's no problem, I adore the swoops, curves, climbs and dives. But this time...every time i'd hit a construction bump, the truck would...wobble. As in sway back and forth. I did not tell Man Unit until we had touched down at the end that the only way to keep said wobble from escalating into toppling was to all but remove my hands from the steering wheel, try to keep from crying and pray. If I tried to force it, it only got worse. Descending steeply angled inclines was a nightmare, especially when they'd curve. I could not brake, otherwise I'd jackknife and lose everything. Barreling down the mountainside at 75+ with no way to stop. I could just see myself shooting off the road or taking out another vehicle.

We had to keep stopping so I could get it together to do it some more. We couldn't switch off because my car was so packed that only Man Unit could fit in it to drive. Zen was seemingly growing weaker and weaker. She wouldn't let him play the stereo, either, screaming commencing with each bass-laden emission. Crackhead was in suspended animation and Puppy would just look at me with one glaring green eye as he was curled up and upside down. And by the time it got easier geographically, I was so wall-eyed and loopy that we had to stop maybe three times (possibly more) the last 150 miles. I drank my very first Red Bull ever somewhere between Chatanooga and Georgia, I think. It lasted for about an hour and we had to stop again in Georgia.

We rolled up to the house sometime around 2 AM. We had been on the road for 18 hours. Puppy lost control of his bladder aout 20 minutes away from the end. And our landlord wanted to meet us when we got there with the lease. And he was chatty. It took me maybe 15 minutes to get back to the truck to unload the cats. And then I had to dunk Puppy in the sink and wash his fur because he was tiptoeing around the room we released them in, soaked in his own piss. And then I had to do quick triage of the carpet where he'd left footprints. Thank god for febreeze. We were very worried about Zen. She had gone into this sort of near-catatonic state and was hiding in the closet, just slowly blinking, not responding and not talking.

We had to pull the mattress from the back of the truck. And other things from the cars. It was 4 AM before we laid down and the movers were coming to unload the truck between 8 and 9 AM. We got up at 7:45 and removed Man Unit's car from the trailer. No easy feat; I had to get underneath it on the ground and undo the chains because Man Unit could no longer bend at such angles. The movers showed up about quarter to 9. They zipped through the unload in just under 2 hours. We moved shit around and unpacked for few hours more; then Man Unit collapsed for 4 hours. I set up the intarweb access and played house some more.

10 PM came and I hit my wall. My plan was just to lie in bed with Zen, who was showing signs of recovery and talk to Man Unit in the next room. He walked in and saw me just lying there, unable to move with my eyes fixed on the ceiling. He turned off the lights and quietly walked away. Next thing I knew, it was 3 AM and he was coming to bed. I didn't peel myself from the bed until about 11 AM the following morning.

Things have gone better since. I don't remember what we did yesterday, really. I know I unacked boxes. And we went to Krystal around midnight for food. Oh, I found the closest grocery store, too. And we took back that cursed truck. That was another adventure because the twat on the phone didn't pay attention to where I told her I was coming from and gave me perfect directions from somewhere else. Took us about 2 hours to return the goddamned truck. That's why I couldn't remember what happened Tuesday at first: I DIDN'T WANT TO. Today we went and bought a washer and dryer which should be delivered Friday. Then we did the obligatory Target sweep to replace some of the shit we had to leave behind. Ironing board. Trash cans, both kitchen and bathroom. Lamps for living room, bedroom and office. Stuff to do laundry with. A laundry hamper. A mop and broom/dustpan. TP. Soap. Light bulbs. All that kind of shit.

Now we're home. Tomorrow is a trip to the DMV for licenses and perhaps a jaunt out to a clearance furniture store to see about a cheap loveseat. Or a quick trip to Whole Foods which we cannot afford but from which I simply can't stay away. Friday I may see FBL and her princess child for noodles at Doc Che's. Monday work begins.

Oy.